The straw that broke the camel’s back was when the coach screamed and humiliated my daughter about not cheering loudly enough in a scrimmage at practice and being a bad teammate. My daughter led 90 percent of the team cheers.
We decided to step away from the team because it was messing with her confidence. Our daughter loved volleyball but was so fearful of the coach, who continued to bully her. And the club director refused to address the situation.
I want to be crystal clear here: What your daughter experienced was verbal and emotional abuse. You would not accept such behavior from your partner, a teacher or even yourself. Chronic name-calling and humiliation are never okay; it doesn’t matter whether your child is on an elite team or in a rec league.
How do you know whether you made the right decision? Well, you looked at the data! The coach was a bully who humiliated your daughter; your daughter was crying and fearful; and her confidence and love of the sport was shot. What more do you need to know that protecting your daughter was the only appropriate move to make here? That the club director ignored the situation was only further evidence that you were in a cancerous situation that was not going to improve.
Some readers may assume that I want sports, even at elite levels, to be all rainbows and butterflies. That I want the coaches to only be soft and sweet, never to express an emotion aside from positivity. No. The best coaches use a variety of tools, particularly […]
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