Dear Meghan: My 11-year-old son is a very reluctant reader and says he hates reading. He will grudgingly read (and reread) graphic novels, but we struggle to get him to develop a reading habit or read anything even remotely challenging.
— Read
Read: Other than his reluctance, you don’t mention any red flags with his grades or falling behind his peers in class. So I’m left to determine whether this is a “parental worry” issue, the start to true reading resistance (and future challenges in school) or a combination of both.
If there are no problems at school or anywhere else in your son’s reading life, you may have to look at your messaging. You can absolutely love reading and value its place in your family, but I don’t recommend pushing it too hard on your son. We are all allowed to have our preferences, including your son. If the potential struggle is simply that you want him to love reading more, work with letting that expectation change.
As a former English teacher, the first thing I think when I hear, “I hate reading” is “something about it is hard for me.” Whether there is something diagnosable, I don’t know, but it’s often the case that children who “hate” reading have more than just preferential issues. There can be a wide array of issues that could be hiding in plain sight, including focus and executive functioning issues, dyslexia and eyesight problems. And when there are invisible disorders afoot, children assume they are “lazy,” “stupid” or “not trying hard enough,” so they quit or stick to what they know. Before we assume that he just doesn’t want to read, talk to his current and former teachers about his reading skills.
As for his preferred reading material, I only wish graphic novels were as prevalent when I was growing up! Aside from the beautiful artwork, the writing can be just as provocative and elevated as many novels and, in many ways, more thoughtful. Word choice is paramount when you can’t write paragraph after paragraph! I would lean into the reading (and rereading) of the graphic novels. There are entire sections of graphic novels in bookstores and libraries, so choose something and read it together. Sharing an interest with your son is one of the fastest ways of understanding his point of view. It may also glean some information on his resistance to reading.
I’m also a big fan of audio books (which are offered through apps like Audible and your local library), and you can listen to books together as a family. Anything that interests your son, like sports and cooking, is available in an age-appropriate audio book, so […]
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