She didn’t like her sweater (the color OR the feel of it).
She didn’t like her pants (they didn’t match her shirt).
Her hair was messy (she refused to brush it).
According to her, she was not fit for school and “I AM NOT GOING.”
I sighed the long, deep sigh that all moms sigh when they are in this position. The clock is ticking, the eight year old is starting to lose her patience (I have STANDARDIZED TESTING TODAY, LOOOUUUUIIIIIISSSSSSSE), and the 2 year old is squirming in her stroller, calling for “agua” because she only speaks Spanish. Don’t ask.
I looked down at the beautiful, precious, and messy-haired child, who, as the moments passed was becoming more and more adamant about not attending school.
“Fine. You don’t have to go. We are going to drop Sophia off, walk by your school, and if you don’t wanna go, you don’t go. That is that.”
Wait, what? Is that…..gasp….giving in?
No. Here is what happened.
A quick assessment showed me the priority was getting the 2nd grader to school. I also know that my middle will dig in and never release. Never. So, I quickly decided to give her the power she wanted knowing 1) we were going to drop Sophia off at school in time and 2) Louise would probably want to go to her school when we got there.
BUT, I was also prepared for her to not go to school. You cannot make an offer, and then not make good on it. One day, your kid will call your bluff…so you have to be ready.
As she shuffled up the hill, she was still fairly miserable and it was bringing the family down. I could start to feel my annoyance prick me, like a tiny little pin.
Something had to change, fast.
Looking around, I saw a house that does an amazing job at decorating for Halloween. It loomed large in my family’s Halloween memories, and we loved walking past the house and watching it get creepier and creepier as the holiday approached. Super-scary, pretty gross, and very exciting and fun.
Aha. Yes, it is APRIL, but who doesn’t love Halloween?
“Louise, I think this year for Halloween, we should get some bloody ghosts and eyeball cupcakes.”
She started listening.
“And more smoke from the smoke machine. And maybe creepy noises playing, like door sloooooowly creaking…”
She was hooked.
“Yeah Mom,” she agreed, “and more skeletons and a bigger graveyard, and more bones lying around, and maybe a party….”
Before long, we were at the first school, and then Louise’s school. She strolled right in; totally forgetting the drama of earlier.
So, what are the take-aways here?
Firstly, that’s a good morning! A good morning is not dictated by the perfect behavior of the children. It is decided by my ability to keep it together and stay positive.
Secondly, when it comes to our kids, giving some power away when you feel threatened to hold tight is usually the right decision.
Thirdly, distract with humor (not directed at them) and creativity. Get your imagination going and let it fly. Your kids will love it, and they will be right there with you. They forget about their drama (for a bit) and have something positive to add to the conversation. This works for every verbal age…really! Don’t be afraid to get a little goofy.