The Dora band-aid (seen here) has been on for 40 full minutes and it feels like a lifetime.
I have counted no fewer than 12 times that I have wanted to interfere with my children (and I didn’t really need to).
Within 40 MINUTES!
My husband appears to be the happiest. Hmpfh.
It’s going to be a long morning.
If you don’t know what I am doing, read this!
**************UPDATE***************
OKAY. So, the first hour was hard. I just stared at the kids, bug-eyed, thinking “How the hell are we going to do this?”
I was most worried about the two year old. How would she handle this? Would she be scared? Act out more? (By the way, the two year old has been an ungodly terror for about two weeks. Crying, not eating, throwing fits, demanding to be held, etc. Yes, I have taken her to the doctor, and no, there is nothing wrong with her physically….yet.)
So, back to my worrying….how would the “baby” take it? Surprise! She was the most affected…for the good! She was puzzled, for sure, and still threw a good fake-crying fit, but the fit was much shorter and much less severe. All the BS I normally say? I couldn’t. I couldn’t cajole, beg, audible sigh in an annoyed way, or threaten. Was it hard? Yes. But is this band-aid thing working? YES.
I “knew” this experiment would work because it is based on solid Adlerian principles and behavioral science. But what my brain knows and what my heart and body do are often not in-sync…and I know this is how it is for many parents.
I know my clients and friends want to wake up in the morning and stop nagging and yelling. But without a plan (and physically taping your mouth shut), it is hard to bring hopes and dreams to fruition.
Are you brave enough to try this?
Write to me here or here and tell me about your experiences!
Need the rules? Here you go.
- The night before: Tell your kids that mommy/daddy is going to be duct taping (band aids are gentler on the skin) their mouth shut in the morning because you believe in them and know that they can get themselves ready.
- Make a List of Your Morning Routine: Whether it be visual or written, create a chart (WITH THE KIDS) detailing the morning duties. Make it short, simple, and easy to follow.
- Let the Chips Fall: Yes, this means that the next morning may be a hot-mess, but you are going to going to keep your mouth shut and deal.
- Repeat for FIVE DAYS TOTAL.
While I teach and use all of these concepts, this experiment is NOT my creation! For more information on Duct Tape Parenting, click here!
********UPDATE #2********
So, we had a quick family meeting, and this is how it sounded! (The kids knew that they were being taped, so the 8 year old is even sassier than normal). The voices are me, my 8 year old daughter Sophia, my 5 year old daughter Louise (Weezy), my two year old Gigi, and my husband Mark. The meeting is about 4 minutes and not terribly exciting, but that’s family!
Click Family Meeting to hear the meeting!
As you heard, not only are there no complaints, but there is also a request for me to tape my mouth shut…all day. Oooookay.
As for my thoughts on the morning, this is what I wanted to add:
- The interesting thing that happened today is that my child (who likes dawdle) said as we were trying to leave the house to get into the car: “I am not going to school.” This would have caused me to launch into all sorts of positive and negative statements, often ending in a threat of some kind. Instead, all I could this morning is tilt my head like a puppy who is confused. I literally could not speak. I got busy doing something else, and don’t ya know it? She got her socks and shoes on by herself and without me saying a word. Huh.
- The kids fought much less with each other. I am imagining that I was nagging the fighting even more than I thought I was (ack, I thought I was pretty good about it!), so there was even less this morning! Huh, again.
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