1. Sleep, Sleep, Sleep. Whether you have a newborn, a toddler, a kindergartner, an elementary or middle school-aged child, sleep is of paramount importance. It affects everything: appetite, ability to focus, energy-level, mood, weight-management, school performance and behavior management in school, as well as your child reaching their basic developmental milestones.
Your family’s schedule needs to be based around the sleep needs of your children. Something I often talk to my clients about is planning the bedtime routine around when they wake up the next morning. What do I mean? Well, if the family needs to be awake by 7:30 AM, and you have a three-year-old, you back up bedtime 12 hours to 7 PM. Some families aren’t eating until 7 PM, pushing the bedtime back to 8 PM or even 9 PM, and leaving the toddler exhausted, under-rested and cranky. Is pushing dinner and bedtime earlier inconvenient for busy working parents? Yes, but I like to remind parents that it won’t be like this forever! Before you know it, your child will be staying up later, and you will be missing those “early-to-bed” days!
2. Eating. Sometimes I hear, “But my child is not hungry,” or, “They don’t eat the food I make!” And I get it. Feeding kids can be tough. Their taste buds are more sensitive than ours, and they really do taste food differently! But this doesn’t mean that meals cannot be prepared and enjoyed together as a family. Don’t succumb to making a steady diet of mac-n-cheese and nuggets! When kids are young, the food may be basic yet wholesome with some nights designated as “try-it nights”! You put out foods that the kids have picked and some that are new and exciting. Kiwis, kumquats and kale are nice options for new “try-it” nights.
The most important thing to remember is that keeping regular meal times (especially dinner) is an antidote to negative behaviors, both now and in the future. Study after study shows that family meals are critical for both communication and a sense of family belonging. It can be a challenge to do this in the early years, all work and little payoff, but the investment will be apparent in years to come! So, make mealtime a priority in your house.
Photo Source: Thinkstock/Comstock
3. Doing nothing. Yes, you read it right. In this day and age, you need to schedule “doing nothing”. If you have paid for it, signed up for it, have to check-in or buy a gift for it…that is doing something. Doing nothing allows for boredom and the all-important slowing down. Now, I am not going to bash technology (I am typing this on an iPad with an iPhone next to me). No, I think our brains can handle far more than we even think, but I do know our kids need to learn how to be bored. Why? Out of boredom comes creativity. Unique ideas spring forth, and kids are allowed to follow a true interest. This interest rarely involves money or complex toys.
For some kids, doing nothing is going to involve playing a sport, or climbing a tree, building Legos, or coloring and drawing. Some may stare at the sky, and some may recreate their classrooms. Doing nothing looks different for every child…so don’t judge it when you see it. As a parent, find your own doing nothing: napping, reading, listening to music you actually like, talking on the phone to a relative or friend, enjoying a glass of anything you like, cooking, writing a letter, practicing your golf swing, shooting hoops, etc. “Yeah,” you think, “with what time?” Well, that is why you need to schedule it! Doing nothing will not happen spontaneously, at least for most families.
It may feel like there are a million components to your family and the schedules and routines you keep. Try not to get too bogged down in too many details, and remember to stick to the basics! Good food, rest and relaxation can take a family far!
Photo Source (upper right): Thinkstock/Goodshot