My three year old is still using the pacifier, which she affectionately refers to as “Passie” (he now has his own persona). We have relegated her use to bedtime and naptime only but she has started chewing on her fingers and recently on the collar of her shirt from time to time. I am concerned she’s anxious and I’m worried that if I just take “Passie” away cold turkey, she’s going to have difficulty self soothing. Are there any ways we can help her transition?
Oral soothing is VERY normal for this age, think of the sucking mechanism for babies as the first way to self-soothe (and when we are adults, it turns into eating and smoking).
I would give it some time and just watch.
“From time to time” is not making my alarm bells go off…
You can also look into chew toys for kids (yes, they make them on sensory websites) to see.
How is her language development? Motor skills?
Three kids, two are boys. I’ll try to be brief as I know the answer is probably complex but – how do I get my boys to take their education more seriously? My 7th grader is very bright but is struggling in math. My 5th grader struggles, but tries very hard and does ‘ok’. Neither my wife nor I are pushy-helicopter parent types nor envision their ONLY college choices to be Harvard, Yale or Princeton. So while grades ARE important, we try to put things in perspective. This said, we demand they work hard and take school seriously because at some point, grades DO matter and the “whatever” attitude towards C’s in math (or any subject) is unacceptable. Both are great kids in every respect and aren’t doing horrible in school, both carry plenty of As and Bs. I just want them to realize that come High School, their grades for better or worse have consequences when college application time comes along. Thank you in advance if you take my question and sorry if you’ve covered this topic 1,000 times already.
I hear you, loud and clear.
The brief and real answer to “how do I get my boys to take their education more seriously?” is: YOU CAN’T.
As parents, we cannot make our children take anything more seriously.
I wish we could, trust me.
But if I read your letter to me, I am seeing A’s and B’s for both kids? I guess I am not seeing the problem here.
They are bright, hard-working and “great kids in every respect.”
I would lay off a bit.
Don’t place too much emphasis on high school (this is how we start anxiety problems in high school), and instead celebrate what is going WELL in your family. Highlight to the boys what they have showed GROWTH in…
And yes, keep your expectation for strongest effort…but can we accept that that might be a C for some of your kids? And can we accept that that would not be the WORST THING IN THE WORLD? And can we accept that grades are arbitrary?
I am not saying that you should just totally lay-off and that they don’t need routine, structure and organization. They do.
It just feels like your connection to them is based on an outcome in school. Let the kids know that if they fail everything, you still love them. This actually makes them feel relaxed and relaxed people DO better!
And…does anyone need a tutor or some help?
My son, 16, has lost or ruined an inordinate number of cell phones and retainers. He suffers from anxiety and depression; when his anxiety or sad feelings are acute, he seems to be particularly vulnerable to not taking care of/losing his things. We are at a loss with how to parent through this: we are so frustrated and don’t have the budget or propensity to replace these items ad infinitem. At the same time, we know he’s hurting, he needs these items to stay connected (phone) and to feel good about himself (straight and healthy teeth for life). Suggestions?