What to do about that pesky parental worrying…

Are you suffering from PPW?  That would be Pervasive Parental Worrying (okay, coined by me, but it sounds real, right?)

PPW looks like: “I think Joey likes Tae Kwon Do, but maybe I should have gone with soccer because he mentioned he really loves soccer and now it is too late because the sign-up is over and I would be out $400.00 dollars and we said we were tightening the budget….”  Get it?  You are worrying about problems that are either non-existent or unsolvable.  And these problems are like bed bugs: they travel easily and are hard to get rid of.  Worrying like this hurts you and it hurts your kids, too!  It robs you of being in the moment and deriving actual joy from what is real!

Let’s work on the worrying.

Here are a couple of effective strategies for worrying.  I have used all or some for many years.  Feel free to mix and match; people are complicated; please don’t think there is one path when it comes to addressing your worrying.

1) Reality-check the worry.  Is what you are worrying about actually true or real?  By telling yourself “no, this worry is not real,” it tells your brain “enough!”  Sometimes, we haven’t even challenged the worry!  Do it!

2) Give yourself a mantra or a picture.  I trained myself to put my worries into a box and I imagined that box being placed far away.  Those worries are there, I can access them if I want to, but I have put them in their proper place.  That feeling of control is so freeing for so many people.  I have also repeated (aloud): “I do not need to worry about this right now.  I will worry about it at 8 PM.”  Again, I controlling the thoughts, not vice versa.

3) Stop talking to people about your worries.  Whatever you pay attention go, grows.  Hence, stop talking talking talking about your worries.  They stay front and center and keep you stressed.  Not good.  Put your friends and family on notice!  Say, “when I start to worry about _____, please tell me NO!”

4) Get busy.  This can take many different forms.  For instance, yoga is especially effective for worrying, and volunteering is a wonderful way to get out of your own head.  Exercise, defining goals, completing tasks…they all work.  For a worrier, boredom can be challenging…so find something that is meaningful to move your mind to something else.

5) Finally, nighttime can be tough for worriers.  Don’t be afraid to make a list of your worries if they will not leave your mind, as well as practicing relaxing breathing techniques and keeping a consistent, relaxing bedtime routine.

 

And please, if your worrying consumes your life, hurts your marriage, friendships, and work, see a professional.  There are great people doing important work in the field of anxiety, and you can be helped!